Thursday, October 1, 2009

I would never do that...

When I was pregnant with Kamryn I had a little list of things I would never do as a mother. But now 5 kids and 9 years later I realize I have broken alot of them and it makes me wonder exactly what happened to make me break those "mommy rules" along the way.
1- Sugar only on special occasions.
-I held onto this for awhile and probably did the best I could up until my little Taitum was born and candy was a way to show my kids that I loved them because I was SOO busy trying to keep Taitum happy(he had a bad case of colic). Sadly I don't think the kids go a day without having some form of sugar.
2- I was never going to spank my kids
-I have spanked my kids, sometimes as a punishment and sometimes out of anger for there actions. This one makes me sad and although I think kids can learn from a spankin I don't think its necessary. Although it has happened in the past our form of punishment usually falls on either time outs and having personal items taken away for bad actions.
3- I was going to try not to yell around or at my kids
-that one lasted until Kamryn hit the "terrible two's.
4- My kids would never go to public school.
- This is something I wish I could have stuck with. I read the book "Education of Thomas Jefferson" and I loved it. That was always my plan for my kids and I did well until my little Taitum was born and needed so much attention. I'm not a huge fan of public school but I'm glad the kids have somewhere to learn when I don't have time or energy to help them.
5- My kids will always be seen in public but not heard unless asked to speak.
- If anyone saw me on the 4th of July trying to control my kids and keep track of them will know that I didnt do so good with that rule.

These are just a few of the things that fell to the way side when more and more kids came into our family. I still love all 5 of my rules and work everyday to get back to them. I do understand that some of the other rules that I made will never be broken and some just don't apply anymore.

Being a mom is so hard and yet so rewarding. It seems so easy before you have kids. I know I make mistakes and I know I wont win a prize for being the best mom but I hope to always do my best.

As the holidays approach quickly I am always reminded of this "wonderful mom" I wanted to be and the mistakes I have made along the way. I think the best advise I have ever been given was to never think "Its too late". I love that thought, I always set my sights way too high around the holidays and this year is no different but this year Im not going to worry about what I didn't do but focus more on what I can do. I hope this holiday season of traditions and fun activity's is the best yet. I am determined to spend what time I do have with my kids being happy and active with them.


sarah said...

You're too hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mom, and your kids are VeRy well behaved!!

the remkes family said...

First off, i love that picture. I totally hear ya.Is it just me or do you think about these things more after you have had a baby for some reason. I have cryed so much lately over alot of the same thoughts, am i being the best mom i can, are my kids going to grow up and be good people? How is it that you(everyone) can look at other moms and say yes (crystal) you a wonderful mom and then wonder if you are not. hope that made sense. what a good post, i enjoyed reading it:)

Anonymous said...

I think you are too hard on yourself. Your kids seem happy and you seem to really enjoy them. What more matters? By the way, I have spanked Maisie in anger too. I also felt guilty but I am just human and I told her I was sorry and I try to do better.

The Fabulous Fosters said...

I felt like I too had failed at my goals, but I can't redo the past only do better in the future. My kids have turned out great and your will too. You are doing an amazing job. Your kids are sweethearts as are the dad and mom.

Marchelle Wyatt said...

I love that picture!! I have a saying in our home that says "There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one" and I love it. I think that all of us do the best that we can and that is all that Heavenly Father asks of us. I'm sure that you are a wonderful mother and you should give yourself more credit. Your family is so, so cute. You are a wonderful photographer too!!