Friday, February 3, 2012

Just can't do it by myself!

I just can't decide which picture to hang on my wall. I love them all, so maybe everyone will help me out and tell me which one you like, 1 2 or 3? Thanks!

Monday, January 30, 2012

those days

Do you ever have those days when you just have so much love for your kids that it takes your breath away just looking at them? I am in that moment right now.

Doing my nightly check to see that every child is still tucked in and kissed goodnight again. Each kiss I gave filled my heart more and more and by the end of my nightly check I was in tears over how much I love all this sweet little kids. How did I get so lucky? I want to stay in this moment forever. I love them so heart is over flowing with love mush :)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

precious baby

Eblynn Quincy Leatham

A little back ground before reading about the birth.

*I always go about 42 weeks in which time I have to be started by my midwife. I have horrible contractions through out my last trimester and being 5-6 cm is nothing new and usually happens during the whole last month. I also am usually trying anything and everything to get my babies out way before 40 weeks. I am miserable(to say the least) the whole last trimester.

*Eben started remodeling a second house (against my wishes) and spent most of my pregnancy working on the second house while our own house(also a fixer upper) stayed the same. By October we both decided that we would live in or second home while we fixed p our own home. The plan was to get into the second house BEFORE the baby came.

After the baby was turned by my midwife I began to feel "pregnant", up until that point I felt kind of like I had a huge separate part to my body, not alot to complain about and NOTHING like my other pregnancies. I also started to get suddle nudges from my midwife and doctor about possibly getting the ball rolling and getting little girl out. I on the other hand felt like I had along road ahead of me, I was so used to being miserable in my other pregnancies that I knew things had to get alot worse before the baby would come out, PLUS I needed my new house. If we were going to be pouring money into a nice new home I wanted to enjoy it for goodness sakes, I didn't want to be moving right after having a baby either. So when I started to have lots of hard contractions all the time I chalked it up to the start of the "bad".

Our dreams of getting into our home kept finding stupid snags and I just kept pretending like I wasn't having a baby. Eben and I worked very hard night and day to make the house come together. A week before the baby came we made a run to home depot to finish up some shopping for the house, on the way home I stopped for an appointment with my midwife. After checking me, she smiled and sayed "when you get home....walk, then call me" I was shocked. My midwife is A++ in my book, she knows me, knows my body and when she sayed this I knew she knew her stuff. I was scared and not ready to give up the fight for a new house to welcome our baby. In my mind I knew I could hold things off, I wouldn't take a walk and I would stay in bed and rest. She always has to start me anyways so if I told her I was fine then she wouldn't start me. I agreed to her terms but in my head I already knew I wasn't going to do what she asked of me. The ride home was HORRIBLE. I started to have contractions so strong that we had to stop, I tried to act like they were no big deal because I didn't want Eben to call my midwife. As soon as we got home I jumped into a hot tub and told myself over and over that I wasn't having a baby. Things calmed down. I didn't sleep much. And come to find out later Eben really truly believed I was having the baby that night, he said I only look like that when I am ready to pop a baby out (and here I thought I was holding myself together better). I didn't deliver that night. The next day we painted and caulked into the night, all while I pretended not to be in labor. The pain was bad and the up and down of painting didn't help much. The next day my midwife showed up, out of the blue...she was coming to start me lol. Now please understand that in previous pregnancies I am begging her to start me and even then I still end up going 42 weeks and at this point I still had a week to go to hit my medical due date, not to mention the fact that I had 2 weeks after that to hit my 42 week mark. Why the rush? I thought, so I laughed it off and told her I was fine (I WAS GOING TO HAVE THE BABY IN OUR NEW HOUSE NO MATTER WHAT!) And she smiled and gave me that "I know what your doing look" and then she dropped another bomb shell....she left all of her birthing supplies (this never has happened) she smirked and sayed "just in case".

That night I panicked, the carpet would be in the next morning and we could get most of the big furniture moved in and the small stuff Friday morning and then I could have Friday night to rest and we would have the baby on Saturday. But no matter what I did in my head I knew the baby would be here sooner. I woke up and started to get everything ready to be moved. By now my contractions were steady and I felt very fact I felt like I had to hold her in. Then the news came. The carpet installers were idiots and wouldn't put our carpet in because we only had space heaters and not a furnace. I spent the whole day not just crying but bawling. My mom even got on her angry eyes on and did everything she could to get my carpet put in. I grieved that whole day.

Friday morning I woke up with plans. There was no chance for us to get into our was time to prepare for baby. I unpacked all morning while Eben moved our bedroom to the girls room so I didn't have to go up and down stairs anymore. I was in alot of pain but didn't let on to anyone. Around 4 my mom came by to check on me. She visited for a bit and I tried to hold back the fact that my contractions were hitting pretty hard. By 4:30 she had left and I broke down....things were serious now. I started the tub and yelled for Eben (who up to this point had no idea I was in labor) to get the big birthing tub blown up and get set up for the birth(good thing my midwife left me with all of the goods). He checked on me and asked if I was in labor. I sayed yes but I knew I had a long road ahead of me, he asked if I wanted him to call my midwife but I wanted to get on top of the pain before she came and since I knew she had to get me past 6 cm I wasn't worried about delivering, I was just worried about staying on top of the pain.

After the tub filled up with water Eben came and sat by me while I labored in the tub. I felt like I needed to be alone, I didn't want him to see me so weak. I kept asking him to do this and that to get him out of the bathroom. He came to tell me that I should get in the bigger tub where there was more water. I agreed, as I got up I realized that this was going to be a hard and LONG labor. I was scared to call my midwife. I had that moment when I thought "what the hell am I doing? Am I crazy? I need drugs! and I need them NOW! Luckily I was alone, if Eben was there at that moment I would have had him rush me to the hospital. In between my contraction I ran to my bedroom where the birth tub was waiting for me. The hot water felt amazing and the tub was so different from the ones I had used in the sturdy, so much room and so comfortable. I knew this is where I wanted to be :) I called for Eben and told him that he needed to call my midwife and I needed my ipod. I found a workout music station on Pandora and I began to feel calm. The constant beat helped me so much. I didn't care to much for the music but the beat helped alot.

My body was in full birth mode. But I still had in the back of my mind that I needed to get "started" and that I had a long road ahead of me. I asked Eben to check me to see where I was as far as cm's. He started to check me when his eyes got HUGE! He said the head IS RIGHT THERE! I didn't believe him, I told him I still had along ways to go. His eyes still huge sayed NO I can feel your water sack and I feel the baby's head! I still had doubts, and just tried to find the beat in the music again. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! I felt the baby move down and the pain was bad. At that point I yelled out "DON'T TOUCH ME AND DON'T TALK TO ME" I began to bare down and then realized I didn't have a MIDWIFE! So I stopped and just tried to stay with the beat. Soon enough I opened my eyes to my sweet midwife. Eben had told her that I didn't want to be touched or talked to (something I had already told her would help me she was prepared). I had no idea how long she had been there...I was relieved she had made it.

I felt safe, happy, and ready for what I needed to do. I took out my ear buds and my midwife told me that she needed to check me and the let me know when your ready (heaven help me, she is the best. Her saying "when your ready" helped me SO much) so I stuck my ear buds in and said give me a minute, she nodded and I closed my eyes. After a few contractions had passed I yelled out "GO" and she did, and she was in and out in a few seconds, then another contraction hit. After the contraction I opened my eyes and she said "push". WHAT?! I was already ready to push? I don't have babies on my own...whats going on? I closed my eyes again and listened to the beat and sayed give me a minute. Then I pushed...and pushed...and pushed, then I felt a hand on my head and heard Eben say DON'T TOUCH HER (lol) I had him that scared. It actually felt nice but I wasn't in a talking mood. That soft touch was from my mother-in-law who is also a midwife. Then I realized that I had told a few close people that they could come to the birth. So I told Eben to call people. He started to and then all the sudden the baby moved way down and I felt like she was about to come out, he ditched the phone calling. Little did I know I had more pushing to do. He did manage to call my little sister, who rushed over and got to see the baby being born.

I kept pushing and the pain was so bad, I kept thinking that I usually don't have this much pain unless the baby is moving out, but I just kept pushing with no baby coming out. Finally I heard everyone telling me to stop pushing, the cord was around the baby's neck, as soon as that was taken care, I pushed again...and again...and AGAIN! FINALLY she was out! Eben had ended up delivering her and setting her on my chest. Instantly I had so much love for her that I didn't know what to do or how to handle my emotions and I got scared. I can't even explain how scared I was. I have no idea what I was scared of or why I was so scared. My midwife later told me that its very common for women that have had trauma in their younger life to have this kind of reaction to delivering. I was so consumed by being scared....that's all I kept sayed was "I'm scared" and "help me". I tried to calm myself down and got out of the birthing tub and went to the shower. I tried to be OK, and my mother-in-law even stayed in the bathroom with me. I was done with my shower and tried to act normal. I came out to a crowd of people (which I loved) all checking out the baby, I felt better...then it hit again, I went back to the bathroom for a bit of a meltdown. Then I felt better.

Baby Quincy was here and she held the kids hearts in her hand. They just looked at her and touched her and melted. I got into bed and watched as everyone took turns holding her and then my mother-in-law and midwife did Quincy's check up. Turned out she was a perfect 8lb baby :)

It was an amazing birth. The best so far, I found strength I never I knew I had. I felt so accomplished. I felt like I did something amazing. I suddenly realized that I wasn't this ball of troubles and that I can have babies by myself and I can handle it. This brought out emotions that I have never felt before.

a few interesting things about the birth:

* Quincy was OVERDONE! lol I guess in order for me to go into labor by myself I am more of a 43-45 weeker...yes you heard me, Quincy was closer to 45 weeks, and although I had never heard of this, researching online I have found that there are others out there that go this far with every pregnancy. I had my official due date calculated at 20 weeks and that's what we went by. The baby wasn't big, but every time I was measured I was always almost 3 or 4 weeks bigger. She peeled for more than a week and she was way wrinkly. There is no way of telling how many weeks I actually did carry her but from what they can tell she was well over 40 weeks.

*After my post partum check up the next day my midwife told me a little secret. While I was having my meltdown in the bathroom she called a friend of ours who processes emotion. She told her I was scared and our friend began to process these emotions for me, now I don't know much about what she does or how it works, but whatever she did it helped. I really do recall being in the bathroom and then having this calming feeling. I had no idea she had done this for me but when I found out I was shocked and I felt so much love for both my midwife and my friend.

*I had a bit of an after party after the birth. My friends and my midwife just hung out and we talked and talked and I LOVED it. I needed it. My mom came by that night to and for once she wasn't grumpy or weirded out like she usually is after or while I give birth...such a nice feeling to have her there. My midwife was the true trooper stayed up with me until 4 am when I couldn't open my eyes any longer (truth be known I wish she would have stayed and just talked to me while I had my eyes closed) It is SO comforting to be surrounded by people you love, I love to hear people talk. That's what I needed the most.

The whole thing was amazing, I loved it, I am grateful for a great husband, a wonderful midwife, for my loving mom and mother-in-law , for my cute sister and sister-in-law and for awesome friends. Oh and for my brother-in-law Kord who followed right behind Liza(sister-in-law) who came to the house right after the birth (he is the first brother-in-law to ever come see me and the baby right after the birth)

Monday, January 23, 2012

why not?

So I hate blogging..... :) I feel like I have to post a picture, write an update and actually have something interesting to say too. The last few posts have been just totally off the top of my head needed to write "posts" and looking back I'm actually ok with that, so how come I can't just write about lame-o stuff all the time? Sooooo 2012 is going to be post after post about a whole lot of nothing...just thoughts, happy moments and hopefully a picture or 2. Nothing special just "stuff" I want to write about :) HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Got my game face on...

The count down has officially began, it feels like I have been pregnant for SO long! And now that the pregnancy is coming to the end I feel SO unprepared! So today I mean serious business, the notebook came out and my pen and brain went to work.

First plan of action is to light the already roaring fire under my hubby's bum to get the other house done (poor man) he was on the phone for about an hour checking on this and that for my peace of mind, I made him write down what day he would be doing this or that and what materials he needed to pick up (instead of spending a half an hour here and there running to the store and back or having to wait for the next day because the store was closed and he couldn't get the parts he needed to finish up something) I already felt accomplished but I could tell he was just annoyed :)

Second was birthing and baby supplies. I ordered my birth kit and wrote down a shopping list of the other items I would need. I began to be excited/scared/overwhelmed....was I really just gonna have a baby in the next few weeks? SERIOUS! SERIOUSLY? Then I thought about the aftercare items I would need for both baby and me and I remembered the big box of girl clothes that at one point had piles of sizes but after 2 little girls getting into the box it was shoved away all mixed up and now I would not only have to re-wash everything but sort too (not a big deal but when I thought about it I was panicky). Ok so I guess we are having a baby huh? I have to decide on a name for this wee one, I have to come up with an "Eben" name I actually like...ugh I am tempted to just step away from the "Eben" name game but I don't want her to be left out either. Once again I warn those people out their not to do a "theme" with your children's names, not only can you pressure yourself into keeping up with it every child but EVERYONE else will be right there to pressure you too...even if they don't like your theme. But just to be clear the girls were never supposed to be involved with the "Eben theme" but after Ebie(and she was only Ebie after my sister-in-law, who was due at the same time told us she was using the name we had planned on) I felt so much pressure from other's to keep up with the Eben thing.

Next is Christmas shopping. I need to be done with projects(or at least started on them) before baby gets here, I want to hold and cherish the baby without feeling like I need to be doing something else. I also want all of the actual shopping done, because the last thing I want to be doing with a brand new baby is go shopping.

And last is THE MOVE! HOLY cow I am not looking forward to that. I think I am just going to take the basics and have those things in place and if I feel up to it I will bring more and more items over. Sounds complicated huh? My first plan was to take a room over with each load but I had to step back and realize that I am only one person and can only do so much with this very round, very contracting, very LARGE belly of mine so maybe I needed to take it slower. Still not decided.

Notebook pages filled with ideas and time lines makes me feel accomplished but putting everything into action is a whole other thing. I also have to look around at my neglected house, I have to get it under control too...but that doesn't sound very fun ;)

I am feeling great about having everything planned and organized, things just look so much easier on paper and much more manageable than just thing bumping around in my brain.

Life is really good, good kids to keep a smile on my face, good friends, good family, and WERE HAVING A BABY! Life will be great even if my "to-do" list doesn't get done, but it will get done even if I have to paint my house and lay carpet while I am in labor (lol)

Monday, November 7, 2011

And then there was light at the end of the tunnel

FABULOUS news to share! My awesome midwife was able to flip my baby! She is now where she is supposed to be...making my every day life a bit harder (but nothing to complain about)

I can't even begin to say how tough these last few months have been. Between money, houses, extended family stresses and stress about what choice I would be making about how and when the baby would be coming, I thought I could crawl in a hole and die. I don't get down very much, and if I do I can usually pick myself back up within a day or so, but this was hard.

I feel like I can make it...I truly do.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

what to do?

Well here's the deal, This little girl in my tummy is stuck...yep she is stuck, ever since 20 weeks (maybe before) she has been in the exact position -head up and to the left, bottom down and back outwards with the placenta on my right side more towards the top. She wiggles but she doesn't change positions (very different from my other kids, who were doing back flips and moving EVERYWHERE possible at what seemed to be every waking and sleeping moment.

34 weeks today (going on my 42 weeks normal scale) so in the medical world I am actually closer to 36 weeks, but if you know me you know I am for sure a 42 weeker. And after many mini talks about a possible c-section along with all my other options, my doctor appointment went like this -first ultrasound (baby still in same spot) -then that do not look directly at the the doctor for fear of bursting into tears as he tries to get me to look at what the options really are and what needs to happen now. - realistically looking at the fact that unless I really want to go for a home birth with a breech delivery my options are to get the baby manually rotated up north and then see if she will stay (I am not excited about that one and I am still not sure that's the right thing to do) if she turns though, I will be able to have her at home (which is what I really want) and if she doesn't turn I am left with a biggest and greatest fear of all, it gos against anything I have ever wanted to do during a birth, not to mention the recovery stay of 2-3 days...which is unbearable to even think about and then the recovery from a c-section and dealing with any problems with the baby such as low or high blood sugar because I was not able to nurse her right away and nursing issues in general.

Needless to say I am very very scared. I am not sure what to do at this point, having a baby is a very scary thing in general(for me anyways) but to think of being in the hospital for that long without my kids and hubby makes my heart just ache, that is one of the most special things about delivering at home is that you take a shower in your own bathroom, you use your own toilette, you sit in your own bed holding your sweet little baby and you are surrounded by playing children. And there isn't ANYTHING better than feeling the spirit fill your home when that sweet angel finally arrives, that is a feeling that you can never replace. I am so sad, I know everything will be fine, I don't doubt that, and I know if I pray and ask what I should do heavenly father will tell me or make it known. I'm just not sure I can handle that right now. I want it my way or no way at all :)

So there it is, Momma and baby are both very healthy and doing great, have a wonderful mid-wife and a great doctor. Both support me in whatever I decide and I am grateful for that.

Friday, July 22, 2011

It's a......

BABY! :)

Gender Maker: First test turned purple...yep PURPLE! The test includes a color graph starting with either a light pink or blue and both sides fade off into being annoyed I wrote the company and told them of my situation and that I wasn't satisfied. They emailed back quickly and said a "purple" indicates a boy. Which is fine except the girls color graph also faded into purple too and the purple was similar to the "girl" purple, rather than the "boy" purple. They sent another test :) Second test quickly showed a dark blue, indicating that "It's a boy". Conclusion:BOY twice.

Chinese Calendar: 5 sites were used 2 saying boy and 3 saying girl. Conclusion: GIRL

Wedding ring: I did this test 3 times, I didn't tell my husband what either way meant. Conclusion: GIRL

Drano: Conclusion: GIRL

Red Cabbage: Conclusion: GIRL
I also found some more test:

Baking Soda test: You collect your morning urine and mix it with a spoon full of baking soda and if it foams like beer its a boy, and if it stayes the same it's a girl. Conclusion: All 3 times it was a BOY

Baby's heartbeat: Slower means boy and faster means Girl. Conclusion: BOY

Sweet or Sour: If you are craving sweets it's a girl, and sours its a Boy. Conclusion: GIRL

Hair line: This site you actually have to go check out. This test involves the hair line of your previous child. I checked each child and sure enough they all went in the order of their hair line. Conclusion: GIRL Check out the link here

*I was going to include picture of each test for reference purposes but decided I didn't want to look at my Urine and figured no one else did either. But most Urine based test can be googled and you can either see pictures of other people's results or see video's of other's women's results (I was super jealous of the women who took the gender maker test and they immediately got a cute blue color or cute pink color...I got purple and bluish purple :(

Out of the 8 tests GIRL was the most common, BUT I was really looking forward to the Ultrasound. Ultrasounds can be wrong and the only real way of knowing what your having is to wait the 9 months and see what pops out.

ULTRASOUND: We had our technician put a girl or boy card in an envelope, we took it home and after our kids came back from a Cousin camp at Gramma Leathams they opened it. They all were excited and as you can see It's a GIRL!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

HEY! Were havin a baby :)

Yep that's right, for those of you who don't already know I am 17 weeks and counting to our 6th baby and I couldn't be more excited! I can't say the same for many people around me, but hey you can't please everyone right?

Since I am almost to 20 weeks(20 weeks is when most women get their official ultrasound to see what the gender of their baby is) I have decided to use the remaining 3 weeks to take a stab at some "old wives tales". I will do each one and post the results just before my 20 weeks ultrasound. Also please put your 2 cents in, I don't have many readers so if you happen to stubble upon my blog please leave a other words I don't care if I know you or don't leave a comment on whether you think this baby is a boy or a girl. Thanks

1st- GENDER MAKER- is a test using your morning urine on a control stick to give you either a "pink"(girl) or "blue"(boy) result. The cost= $24.99 with free shipping or $19.99 with $3.00 shipping from amazon

2nd- CHINESE GENDER CHART- which uses the Chinese calendar to predict the gender of your child based on how old you are at the time of conception and in what month you conceived. The cost is FREE

3rd- THE WEDDING RING TEST- put your wedding ring on a string, Lie down and dangle the ring over your belly. If it starts moving in circles, you are having a boy, or if it moves like a pendulum from side to side, then you are having a girl. The cost = FREE

4th- THE DRANO TEST- Collect around 2 or 3 ounces of morning urine and mix it with around two tablespoons of crystal Drano. Do not use the liquid form, as there will not be the same sort of chemical reaction. If the mixture turns brownish in color you are going to have a boy. If the mixture doesn't get any darker, and if it doesn't become brownish in color then its a girl. *Drano is a powerful and dangerous chemical to use during pregnancy* because of this I will provide the urine and my hubby will be doing the rest of the test far away from me. The cost= around $10.00

5th- THE RED CABBAGE TEST- cut up a cabbage, boil it in water then mix 1 part of morning urine to 1 part cabbage water and if the water turns pink or red your having a boy if the water turns purple or grey you are having a girl. The cost= $2.49

I will post my results and also test out any other wives tales I happen to find out about in the next 3 weeks.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

who's this chick?

Name: Crystal Lynn
Birthday: May 26, 1983

What would you do if you had a Million dollars?
I wouldn't tell anyone. I would anonymously pay family and friends mortgages off. I would buy new cars for people and leave them parked in their drive ways with a big bow and a note that sayed "zoom zoom" lol I would build the perfect house :) I would travel the world. I would hire a freakin maid :) I would spend my days playing with my kids.

What do you look at on the Internet?
facebook :) and I stalk a bunch of blogs about arts and crafts and then I throw a pity party because I am such a loser mom who spends her free time stalking blogs about people who actually do crafts instead of doing my own. And the rest of the time I usually try to learn something new about health and about midwifery.

What have been your best buys for 2011?
Plain White T's tickets, 5 pairs of shoes for my family and myself at the D.I. (yes I washed and scrubbed them), a package of cool mint oreo's, an Ikea mattress for my girls, some clearance lip gloss that has peppermint oil in it, and asparagus :)

Whats a secret that you are embarrassed to tell people?
That even after trying to "re-populate the earth" with our 5 kids, we are actually trying to conceive. shhh please don't tell the haters

If you were to choose a new name for yourself what would it be?
Thats really tough to decide. I think I would want a really weird name, something no one else had like September. Or a Hippie name like Willow. I don't really know, thats actually a really hard question to answer.

Why don't you blog?
Lazy maybe? I just really hate blogging now. But I will admit that I do blog in my head alot, specially while doing laundry. I am thinking soon they will have a machine that reads your mind, and when that happens I will have new posts ALL the time

Why are you asking yourself weird questions and then answering yourself?
boredom, needed a happy blog post, in a very weird mood, and I actually do this quite often....what a weirdo eh?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

my mom bucket list -2002-

I ran across a journal entry about things I either wanted to do with my kids, or things I wanted my kids to have...over all goals for them.

*I wanted them to grow up on a farm, an old broken down farm that they could fix up. Spend their summer's getting lost on the farm having wonderful adventures.
*I wanted to travel around the world with them. Take them to new places.
*I wanted them to be home schooled, and learn at their own pace. I would give them all the tools they needed to learn and be there when they had questions and never miss an opportunity to teach them something new.
*I never wanted to spank my kids. I knew there had to be a better way to get a point across.
*I wanted to spend my nights reading books to the kids and listening to Eben play the guitar.
*I wanted each of my kids to earn there own money for their first car, or I wanted them to fix up their own car.
*I really wanted my kids to be happy, healthy and be well behaved.

Those were my goals. I love each one of them and wish I would have already full filled most of them by now. It seems so odd to think that I have very few years with my oldest, who was 2 at the time when my "bucket list" was written. Time has just slipped away from me. I think it may be time for a new bucket list. Although it seems so sad to look at this old one. My dreams are still the same but just not possible.

I am so lucky to be a mom. Some days I let the good things about being a mom slip away. And more days than not I spend my day cleaning, and running here and there and forget to actually spend time with my kids.

Maybe I need some goals. A month to month guide to get me back to being a full time mom, instead of being a full time maid/taxi driver/babysitter. I can truly say I have gotten off the beaten path.

I am thankful for these reality checks. The one's that make you wonder "what was I thinking?"

Onwards and upwards :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

Is it just me?

Does anyone else feel like we are supposed to have all this freedom and have so many places to air our thought (blogs, facebook etc.) but no one ever just sayes what they want to....?? I know I don't say much of anything that I want to.
Life is so odd. I always thought when I was older that I could do whatever I wanted all the time. Cake for breakfast, never have to clean my house, say whatever I wanted to and not get spanked or grounded. Now I can't eat cake for breakfast because it's bad for my waist line, bad for my health and a bad example to my kids. Have to keep my house clean just in case someone stops by, have to keep everything organized so I can actually find something when I need it. And can't say ANYTHING that could possibly offend someone.
Who knew?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Shutterfly fun!

I am SO ExCiTeD! I heard about this great deal through; where you can get 50 free cards just in time for the holidays! This makes me just want to jump for JOY! I have always loved shutterfly's deals and there prints. I decided to take a quick look at there Christmas cards to see which one I would be using this year...WOW there are too many to decide from! How can I decide on just one? All of them are so colorful!'s Christmas cards seem to have more variety than most places, which makes it very hard to decide! Just look at all these adorable cards!
There are also some fun gift ideas like photo calendars. I have made a photo calendar for my Grandma and my mom in the past and thought about doing it this year too(shhh don't tell them) My hubby's birthday is in January so that might even be fun for him too.

And shutterfly also has some cute Birthday cards and invites that I had never seen before. I am pretty excited to make some for Ebie's birthday in February. I will be sending some out to family we don't see very often just so they can see how big the birthday girl is getting.

Shutterfly seems to have so many good deals on free prints and fun products. I have been very happy with them in the past.

So many choices to choose from where do I start? I probably better start by taking a family picture :) But this offer and looking at shutterfly's website makes me more excited to get going! Maybe I will get my cards out before New Years this year ;)

Get more info and check out the great deals at

Sunday, June 27, 2010

It's June

Or I should say the end of June :)

Anyone remember my "2010 goals"? Well its time to do a quick update on how I have been doing with them:
1-WEIGHT GOAL- Well I would Love to say I have lost 30lbs but I haven't yet. I joined a weight loss group and did pretty good with it and ended up being "the biggest loser" but I have pretty much gained it all back after having a love affair with food for the last month...but I am back on the wagon and ready to try losing some more lbs.
2-HAPPY FAMILY- I think we are a work in progress but I do feel like we all have been making a big effort to be a happier family :)
3-BETTER HEALTH Still working on this one...I'm pretty sure this is the one goal that I have worked on the least.
4-BLOG- this is the one goal I have worked on the least. I just don't want to blog! I really hate blogging, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read everyone else and even get a little annoyed when no one has blogged in awhile(total hypocrite)
5-TAKE MORE PICTURES I have really been doing quite well with taking pictures, I have really enjoyed getting back into taking pictures for fun. I have even made another goal to take a picture everyday of my 27th year of life(my 27th birthday was in May).
6-SCHEDULE Yep, I got one :) And can I just say how helpful a schedule is? I'm sure I could work on it more.
7-BE A BETTER FRIEND- This one I have really worked on the most. I hope I can keep doing better and helping my friends out as much as they help me and be there when they need me. I really value my friends and I have been really blessed with getting to know them again.
8-GET-R-DONE- This one pretty much goes with the "schedule goal", I find when I get things done ahead of time my schedule works out so much better. I really love not being such a procrastinator.
9-TRY IT YOU'LL LIKE IT-I would like to do more with this goal, I guess I have kind of kept up with it but I would like to try more things.
10-COWBOYS AND PRINCESS'- Well my girls have the "princess" part down to an art(specially "Princess Ebie-cup") and the boys are learning to be better "cowboys". I have been working with them on manner's and also working harder and more efficiently.

All in all my goals are working out pretty well. In May I decided since my favorite number (in the whole world) is "27" and since I was turning 27 I thought I better make the best of my year so I have tried to live my days enjoying life. My first thoughts were to go on trips and sleep in every morning, but reality sunk in and I went simple. So if my day is going bad I take a few minute's and try to think of some way I can turn the day around and other than some really really bad days I have been successful in making each day a pretty good one. I have enjoyed my kids so much more and really taken the time to get to know them and also to work with them to be better in so many ways.

I am really thankful for 2010, in some ways its been very hard, but I feel like so far this has been one of my more successful years of life.

Friday, May 28, 2010


Was the day my little sweetpea left my tummy.

People have alot of different views on what a miscarriage is and also if a baby is a "baby" before it is born full term. I feel like I had a sweet little baby girl(she looked like a girl but it could have been a boy who wasn't developed yet) and I miss her and I think she with heavenly father. I think that tiny little body that I held was her earthly body. I am not a expert nor do I want anyone opinion. That's just the way I feel.

We buried our little girl in a spot picked out by her brother's(Kamryn told me he would know where to dig a hole if he saw some flowers by a little rock) in the mountains. They took it all really hard but being able to bury her and have an ending helped.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

We make plans and Heavenly father laughs...

really really hard :)

We are exspecting baby #6!!!
I am completely but happily very shocked! We didnt think we could or should have anymore babies, so this was such a neat suprise. We made plans to wait a few years to try for another baby, but I started to feel kinda yucky in the mornings and I was SUPER grumpy all the time so I took a test and TADA! 2 pink lines. I just laughed. What else can you do? This is the closest my kids have ever been so hopefully I wont go crazy :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010


I find myself so excited lately. It seems like things are coming together finally.

Our basement is FINALLY coming together after our first discovery of black mold almost 4 years ago. Lots of hard work and frustration will finally end by the end of January. (hopefully) I am so excited to finally have an area for my kids to play! The basement went from a small 1 bedroom apartment to a good size family/craft room. I can see my house magically coming together once I finally have a place for everything.

My hormones or whatever you want to call it, have finally calmed down and I feel quite a bit more normal than I have in the last 10 months. And what a wonderful feeling it is to feel "normal" again.

I have had success in my New Years resolutions and even though its only 9 days into the new year I feel very accomplished.

My little Lily is crawling and pulling herself up onto furniture which normally would make me feel like she is growing up to quickly but instead makes me excited to see her feel so accomplished and also she can almost keep up with her brother's and sister which makes for a much happier baby.

Ebie is a girly girl through and through and to see her play barbies or dolly's makes me smile. She has recently invented an imaginary friend named Leah. Ebie and Leah play together and they also fight together which seems very funny and somewhat odd.

I see my boys getting bigger everyday and see the struggles and the "hardships" they seem to have with life and that somehow makes me smile too just because it may seem big to them but it really has no standing ground when it comes to the hardships they will face only a short time away and it makes me happy to know that there problems are still small and very fixable.

I am also excited for all the pregnant women around me. I have such a love for babies and for people who are excited about having babies. If I wont be having any of my own babies anymore I love that I can enjoy other people's babies.

Life is just very manageable and good right now. I am so grateful for my many blessings.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ready or not....welcome 2010

For whatever reason we all either think about a New Years resolution or make one...or a few.

This year I am really going to keep close tabs on myself so I can finally accomplish my New Years Resolution(s)

When I think of a resolution I think of accomplishing something or in my case thinking of something wonderful to do before the next year comes around only to find myself dreading a quick look back in my journal to see nothing I had set out to do has been done.

Well this year I hope to make some reasonable goals to which I will post for all to see and please my blog readers(few as they may be) you keep on me.

1- A WEIGHT GOAL- I know, this is forever everyone goal but I am sticking it out there anyways. 30lbs lighter by 2011
2- HAPPY FAMILY- I honestly want to work on my family life, I want my kids and myself to be happy to come home from wherever they may have been. I want my kids to have a better understanding of our Heavenly Father and his plans and goals for us here on earth. I want my kids to keep journals through out there year to which they have to write in every Sunday.
3- HEALTH- it has taken a back seat for about 4 years now. We eat far to much junk and its time to get back to simple eating and for me...not as much eating and for my wee ones more eating.
4- BLOG - I cant honestly say I "need" a blog or two but I sure do want them. I want one for my everyday run of the mill, don't want to write n my journal, good reads for the posterity good ol' blog. And another for my photography which I love.
5- TAKE MORE PICTURES- That in itself may sound funny coming from me but I find my self looking for "the right shot" instead of logging my kids growing up. I also have become way to self conchious carrying around a camera because I am afraid I will be mocked (I know I am weird)
6- SCHEDULE- oh my goodness do I NEED a schedule!
7- BEING A BETTER FRIEND- I have pushed my friends to the side for way to long, its time to make it known that I love and value them. My excuse before was always that I was simply overwhelmed with my own life that I didn't want to flake out on them. That is simply not going to do this year. I may not have an active role in there life's but I want them to feel the Love I have for them and for them to be able to rely on me
8- "GET-R-DONE"- I have a great love for procrastination and its just NOT working in my life. It causes me stress and disappointment in my life constantly. I am here by taking a stand that my birthday gifts, cards and anything else I my need will be bought, made(with love ;), and wrapped the month before it needs to be.
9- TRY IT YOU'LL LIKE IT- I am going to try something new every month.
10- COWBOYS AND PRINCESSES- growing up I wanted my boys to be cowboys(whatever I pictured a "cowboy" being) and I wanted my girls to be princesses. So this year I am going to make sure I really look back and reflect what I want my kids to "be" in that I am talking about the way they act and feel. I want my cowboys to be tough but also know how to treat a lady, I want my girls to know that they are special, and that even though they are special they still have responsibilities to be gentle and kind to other's.

Now that being said I need a little freedom with these goals or else I will never go through with them. I am going to make little goals or ideas to use every week to accomplish my goals. Then at the "half way mark" (I am picking sometime in June) I am going to repost my goals and how they have helped my life, and if I have been slacking.

Wish me luck, and have a wonderful 2010!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I would never do that...

When I was pregnant with Kamryn I had a little list of things I would never do as a mother. But now 5 kids and 9 years later I realize I have broken alot of them and it makes me wonder exactly what happened to make me break those "mommy rules" along the way.
1- Sugar only on special occasions.
-I held onto this for awhile and probably did the best I could up until my little Taitum was born and candy was a way to show my kids that I loved them because I was SOO busy trying to keep Taitum happy(he had a bad case of colic). Sadly I don't think the kids go a day without having some form of sugar.
2- I was never going to spank my kids
-I have spanked my kids, sometimes as a punishment and sometimes out of anger for there actions. This one makes me sad and although I think kids can learn from a spankin I don't think its necessary. Although it has happened in the past our form of punishment usually falls on either time outs and having personal items taken away for bad actions.
3- I was going to try not to yell around or at my kids
-that one lasted until Kamryn hit the "terrible two's.
4- My kids would never go to public school.
- This is something I wish I could have stuck with. I read the book "Education of Thomas Jefferson" and I loved it. That was always my plan for my kids and I did well until my little Taitum was born and needed so much attention. I'm not a huge fan of public school but I'm glad the kids have somewhere to learn when I don't have time or energy to help them.
5- My kids will always be seen in public but not heard unless asked to speak.
- If anyone saw me on the 4th of July trying to control my kids and keep track of them will know that I didnt do so good with that rule.

These are just a few of the things that fell to the way side when more and more kids came into our family. I still love all 5 of my rules and work everyday to get back to them. I do understand that some of the other rules that I made will never be broken and some just don't apply anymore.

Being a mom is so hard and yet so rewarding. It seems so easy before you have kids. I know I make mistakes and I know I wont win a prize for being the best mom but I hope to always do my best.

As the holidays approach quickly I am always reminded of this "wonderful mom" I wanted to be and the mistakes I have made along the way. I think the best advise I have ever been given was to never think "Its too late". I love that thought, I always set my sights way too high around the holidays and this year is no different but this year Im not going to worry about what I didn't do but focus more on what I can do. I hope this holiday season of traditions and fun activity's is the best yet. I am determined to spend what time I do have with my kids being happy and active with them.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

3 months already!

Wow how time has flown by! My little girl is already 3 months old!
She is already a traveler, we made a trip in August to Texas for a Radio Shack convention and Lily and Ebie came along. We saw Colorado, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and of course Texas. In the last 3 months we have been so blessed to have such a special little girl in our lives. Her brother's and sister love her to death and of course her mommy and daddy are pretty fond of her too ;)
I had a hard time adjusting to 5 children at first and also a mistake I had made...I confess I named my baby the WRONG name! I have a close friend who used to tell me that she was scared she would name her kids the "wrong" name. I never thought too much about this because I figured it would work out in the end and whatever name you chose for your baby would be the "right" name. So I set out in the beginning of my pregnancy the same way most mothers do, I was set on finding the best name for my little one. I had so many names I liked but there was one name that just made me smile every time I sayed it "Lily". It was settled the moment I presented the name to Eben and he actually agreed that he liked it too(something we struggle with anytime we talk about baby names).
So when the day came and we found out we were having a little girl we excitedly started to refer to our little one as "lily" soon after we realized we had a problem when people started asking what we would name another girl referring to a stupid tradition my husband started by calling all of his boys Eben. I had no intentions on using "eben" in any form when it came to naming my girls. But after being surprised with a pretty little girl February 18th 2007 we came upon a delima when the names we agreed to and picked out were already taken or very overdone. Everyone joked about girl versions of Eben but that was out. I always called Eben "ebey" and had mentioned I wanted to use it for our little girl but he had veto's it quickly. But as we came up blank on what to name our new little girl "ebie" just fit. So she was named after her daddy and her mommy (Ebie Lynn).
So now we were in a pickle, we couldn't have all our kids named after eben EXCEPT Lily...BUT then Eben suggested that we use "lynn" for all the girls and I liked that alot. Little Lily Lynn was kinda cute and fun to say. But we just kept getting flack from people. So I set out to find an "eben" name for our little girl. And one day I thought of "Ebrie" it sounded soo pretty and unique. I sayed Ebrie Lily a hundred times a day and it still sounded dumb. I needed to either have a "Lily" or a "Ebrie" because the combination sounded way too weird. So I began to think about just naming her Ebrie Elaine(after my granny) I liked it alot but I still wanted my little Lily. What a pickle I put myself in. And to make it worse everyone called my belly Lily. I figured the day she was born I would know what to do and who this little girl was.
Well she came out and she was NOT a "Lily" she looked like a "Ebrie" but everyone was already calling her Lily and then it also accured to me Ebrie and Ebie sound a whole lot like each other....ugh why I had I not noticed this before? All I did is stick an "R" in Ebie...duh
So when I was asked what her name was I sayed Ebrie Lily Leatham with no conviction at all. I was so bummed. But I just had to get used to it. For awhile after she was called both Lily and Ebrie and I loved when people called her Ebrie. But 3 months into it and she is officially Lily and it has grown on me but I'm not convinced.
What kind of flake-mom am I to not even be sure that the name I named my baby is right for her? ugh what an idiot. I have told Eben over and over that I was supposed to have twins "Ebrie Elaine" and "Lily Lynn". I find myself calling her all kinds of names lil,ebrie,brie, lily lynn, moosey, lue lue, and for some reason "mama" in a little spanish ancient...??? what is wrong with me? And what have I done? I have issues :) to say the least.

Other than me having a day to day break down over what I named my little girl the last 3 months has been so much fun. I am grateful for my precious little girl (whatever her name is :)